Well that day is nearly here: The First Day of School. Of course, this time I’ll be behind the lecturn instead of sitting in the auditorium waiting to learn. I officially start my new Professorship tomorrow, and then have to impart wisdom on 94 eager (?) and willing (?) students a week later. I have to admit I’m shaking in my red sparkly boots a bit. I’ve been spending so long preparing for this moment – orchestrating the move, getting my lab samples safely to NC, building a home and frantically trying to write lectures in the hopes of being somewhat mentally prepared – that I hadn’t really thought about the actual activity too much. Feeling prepped? Sure. Feeling ready? Nope, those kids terrify me.
When I was in college, I remember the way I would view the Professor – always with respect, but really I believed that they had it kind of easy. They were there to help me learn. That they weren’t under the same pressures that I was. Ohhhh how I would stare enviously at them, the ones who got to assign the homework instead of do it. The ones who sat at the front of the room, silent and foreboding, during exams. The ones who knew everything and had the luxury of no insecurities. Ohhhh the naiveté…
As I’ve gotten older, I’ve become so much more comfortable with just how much I don’t know. In reality, it’s A LOT. I think most of us live in slight fear of being called out for what we aren’t – and I now have much more sympathy for my Professors than I ever thought possible. Not only do they have the fear of being called out – they actually stand up in front of an audience every day, willingly waiting for that to be brought forth. Repeatedly.
And you have to admit to yourself that it’s going to happen. The question you don’t know the answer to. Neuroscience is a vast, deep minefield of nuances, and I will be the first to admit I can’t possibly know it all. And if there’s anything I’ve learned from my years of higher education – it’s admit what you don’t know. Then show a cool picture of a shark to distract them.
There’s a whole lot of new happening at the moment. And while I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t a bit excited by it (cause I am), the truth of the matter is I feel more scared of a room full of 20-somethings than I would swimming in an ocean full of sharks. But, in honor of all things new, I decided to bring forth an outfit constructed of only new (at least to me). This was a fabulous Christmas for vintage showing up under my tree, and I was blown away by my family’s bravery. To boldly burst forth into vintage shops, armed with my measurements and an eye for a full skirt. And with each new parcel I opened this year, my heart warmed for just how well the people in my life know me.
So, on the Day Before School Starts, I decided to really go for it, resplendent in my sparkliest new shoes, my poofiest crinolines. To remind me of who I am. To remind me of the people who are all behind me. Going into a new environment is always challenging – you’ve left the comfort of a group of people who know exactly who you are, to enter into one where, for all they know, you lie on a spectrum somewhere between saint and serial killer.
So, get ready students. Get ready for some shark brains and some vintage. For a goofy sense of humor and some seriously sparkly shoes. I can promise nothing – except we’re on this path together.
Anyone else facing their greatest fears tomorrow??
Dress: Hep Cat Vintage (similar modern or vintage here, here, & here)
Parasol: Trashy Diva
Handbag: Gift, Slyfield & Sime (similar here & here)
Petticoat: c/o Modern Millie
Shoes: B.A.I.T via Modcloth
Lip Color: Ruby Woo